


Love Isn’t Enough

by VulgarMaiden



Category: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Happy Ending, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Conan Kudou Shinichi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:08:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24579565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VulgarMaiden/pseuds/VulgarMaiden
Summary: Shin’ichi doesn’t understand why Kid is acting so cold and distant toward him.Kid is scared of being vulnerable, and thinks it best to end their feelings rather than let Shin’ichi get close and risk getting hurt.(They both have feelings for each other, but neither has confessed yet. Also, the title sounds angstier than it is.)
Relationships: Kudou Shinichi | Edogawa Conan/Kuroba Kaito | Kaitou Kid
Kudos: 153





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> To be perfectly honest, I don’t know what qualifies as angst. They are upset and frustrated, but I don’t think it’s that bad.

Shin'ichi stepped out onto the roof of the tall building. Kaitou Kid stood at the edge, facing the sea of city lights beneath them. His white silhouette was sturdy and unyielding against the night sky, even as the wind whipped his cape around him. It was a sight Shin'ichi had become quite familiar with.

The detective walked closer, acutely aware of the overwhelming tension in the silence. His movements were slow, and careful, as if one false move would make the person standing in front of him vanish.

_How did it get like this between us?_

Kid turned only his head, glancing over his shoulder. Shin'ichi froze, carefully watching what little of Kid's face he could see under the shadow of the white hat. A couple seconds passed, where the only sound was the wind and the flutter of Kid's cape. Shin'ichi swallowed thickly, his heart beating fast in his chest.

It was merely an echo of the adrenaline he used to feel in these same encounters toward the beginning of his rivalry with the thief. So much had changed.

"Here to catch me, Meitantei?" Kid asked with a teasing lilt to his voice. He turned to face the detective, that trademark grin firmly in place.

Shin'ichi grit his teeth, the corners of his lips twitching between a frown and a scowl. That grin. That robotic, emotionless grin. It made his repressed anger and resentment surge up and threaten to crack his false-calm exterior.

Still, he drew in a slow, deep breath of the cold, night air, and refocused.

"Actually… I'm here to ask you a question," He said.

The thief gave an intrigued, and very calculated, tilt of his head. Shin'ichi's insides roiled in disgust. Kid was a good actor, but everything about this side of him felt horribly unnatural.

"What question might that be?" Kid asked.

Shin'ichi fixed him with a steady gaze and took a slow, calm breath. "Why do you act differently around me now that I'm myself again?"

Kid's grin faltered, and was quickly replaced with a neutral expression. He watched the detective carefully for a few seconds. It was such a blunt question. Meitantei really had a habit of being too forward all the time, but damn if it wasn't charming.

"Do I act differently around you now?" He asked, tilting his head the other way.

" _Yes_. You do!" Shin'ichi said, taking a step closer to the thief. His hold on his emotions beginning to slip. "Don't you remember what you were like when I was Conan? We used to tease each other. Our banter used to actually be fun. You even used to show real emotion around me! Remember?" Sadness crept into his voice as he spoke. "That time with the blimp, you weren't above giving me an annoyed glare when I asked you to disguise as me. But now… it's like you've completely withdrawn behind that poker face of yours. You won't show me any of your true self anymore."

Kid didn't need reminding. He remembered all too well their delightful encounters. Half the time it had been exactly what the detective described- their brief moments of calm, friendly rivalry and relaxed openness- that made those times so precious, not just the additional challenge.

"We were close in a strange sort of way," Kid mused, looking off to the side. The wind slowed to a cool breeze, which gently picked up his cape and swayed the charm on his monocle.

Shin'ichi became hopeful. He took another step forward. "Yes, exac-!"

"It's not very becoming of a detective and a thief to be so friendly, wouldn't you agree?"

Shin'ichi halted, and fell half a step back. His throat constricted and his shoulders slumped. "You… you _are_ distancing yourself from me… Why?!" He demanded, advancing on the thief once more.

Kid visibly tensed, prepared to bolt if the detective got any closer.

"I'm flattered you enjoyed my company, Meitantei," He said, blatantly ignoring the question. Placing his hand over his heart, he gave a gentle bow. "Unfortunately, that's in the past."

Shin'ichi grit his teeth until they hurt, and clenched his fists until his fingernails dug into his palms.

Why?!! Why would Kid just throw away everything they'd been through together?!! 

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd better get going." Kid tipped his hat, and flashed his toothy grin once more. Then gracefully fell backwards over the edge of the roof.

"Wait!!" Shin'ichi shouted, reaching out instinctively. He bolted to the edge of the roof and collapsed on his knees, peering over the edge. The white triangle of Kid's hang glider was sailing away, already too far for his voice to reach. Oh, how badly he wanted to yell at him anyway. "Goddamn bastard," he growled, punching the cement beneath him.

His recent interactions with the thief had been getting increasingly infuriating. Kid just wouldn't talk to him! At least, not in a manner that was anywhere close to genuine.

Sighing heavily, Shin’ichi stood up and backed away from the edge. He’d failed to get through to Kid yet again, and there was no telling when he’d get another chance. Not that it would matter if Kid continued acting the way he was. If things kept up like that, he might have to face the fact that the Kaitou Kid he knew and loved was really gone.

He grit his teeth again. The thought of giving up made his blood boil. It might’ve been what Kid wanted, but Shin’ichi flat out refused to let him destroy their past so easily. At the very least, not without knowing _why_. He turned, and crossed the roof to the door he’d come out through. There was nothing left to do but return home, and go about his life until the next heist. 

Kaitou Kid was only the second person Shin’ichi had ever loved romantically, and the _only_ person he’d ever carefully considered his feelings for. That was one of the biggest reasons he was so reluctant to give up on him. He knew his feelings were far more than just a fleeting crush. He’d taken the time to analyze every specific thing he liked about the thief, and considered the implications of loving a criminal, and what that could mean for a possible future with him. And despite everything, he’d come to the irrefutable conclusion that he loved Kid more than he cared about the law.

More importantly, he realized that it wasn’t “Kaitou Kid” he loved at all.


	2. Chapter 2

Shin'ichi awoke to the sound of his bedroom window opening. His heart rate jumped and his whole body tensed. His eyes flew open, then he immediately shut them again, wincing from the bright light of his lamp.

 _Damn it, I fell asleep while reading, again!_ He thought, quickly rubbing his eyes and listening carefully for the intruder.

"Oh, were you asleep? I apologize, Meitantei. I only came here because I thought you were awake."

The adrenaline that had spiked during the second Shin'ichi thought he was about to get murdered instantly dissipated, and was replaced with surprise and a familiar flutter in his chest. He reopened his eyes and pushed himself up. Sure enough, the person he loved was standing in his room, leaning casually against the window sill.

"Kid…" Shin'ichi whispered, captivated by the sight of the white-clad thief. He moved his legs over the edge of the bed and stood up. Hope began to swell inside of his chest as he took a few careful steps forward. "What are you doing here?"

Kid turned his head to gaze out the open window, an unreadable expression etched on his face. A gentle breeze blew in from the open window, playing with his hair and swaying the charm on his monocle.

 _Beautiful_ … Shin'ichi thought. Even a morose expression was a welcome change from the poker-face-grin.

"I came here to apologize for leaving so abruptly at the heist a few days ago," Kid said softly. "Originally I intended for that to be the end of things between us but…" He sighed, and continuing to face away from the detective. "I felt guilty. I'm sorry."

The hope in Shin'ichi's heart grew stronger. He _knew_ Kid still cared about him, even if it was just a little bit.

Without thinking, he moved forward boldly, crossing the invisible boundary, straight into the thief's personal space, closer than he'd been since he was Conan, and grabbed Kid's gloved hand in his.

Kid tensed, and took half a step back towards the corner of the room, but his hand betrayed him. His fingers curled around the detective's palm, squeezing tight. He cleared his throat, avoiding eye contact, and tilting his head forward, hoping to hide some of his face with the brim of his hat. "I _also_ came here to say that… I _do_ fully intend to end… whatever this is."

Shin'ichi's eyes widened and his heart sank. Hope began to dissipate as pain crept into to take its place. His voice left his lips as a shocked whisper. "What?"

"I'm sorry-." Kid tried to back away. He'd said what he needed to. Now he just had to get away before he could change his mind.

"Why…?" Shin'ichi whispered, leaning much too close for comfort, and tilting his head to get a better look at the thief's expression. "Why are you pushing me away?"

"Why are _you_ trying so hard to get close?" Kid shot back, turning his face down towards his shoulder. Immediately, regret pierced his heart. He already knew the answer. If he heard the detective say those words, it would take a herculean effort to pry himself away-

"I love you." The softly spoken words hit Kaito like a gust of wind that threatened to push him over the edge of his emotional walls into an abyss of vulnerability, but he held his ground.

"And… unless I'm terribly mistaken," Shin'ichi continued, "I think… the feeling's mutual."

Kaito squeezed the detective's hand, but refused to look up. He was much too close to the edge of that metaphorical chasm for his liking. So close he could almost feel the pebbles under his shoes shifting loose and cascading down the sides of the ravine.

"I love you," he admitted, "but that's not enough. I'm a criminal, remember? Surely you don't want to be trapped in a relationship that would make you question your morals every day."

"My morals?" Shin'ichi let out a halfhearted chuckle. "My morals have led me to believe that letting you go _is_ the right thing to do. Putting someone as good and kind as you behind bars would be a crime."

A yearning warmth tugged at Kid's heart upon hearing those words. If only it could be that simple.

"I don't know if it'll help, but… even if a relationship between us didn't work out, I still wouldn't turn you in," Shin'ichi reassured him. "My mind has been made up about that. I _don't_ believe you're a bad person."

Kid clenched his jaw as a surge of heartache swelled at the base of his throat. Oh, how badly he wanted to believe that, especially coming from someone he cared so deeply about.

"You don't know what you're getting in to, pursuing a relationship with someone like me…" he said, voice constricted with the pain of loneliness.

Shin'ichi frowned at the words 'someone like me'. He grabbed Kaito's arms, just under his shoulders, forced the thief to face him straight on, and shook him for good measure. "Have you ever killed someone?"

For the first time during their interaction, Kid lifted his head, startled by the detective's blunt attitude. "Wha-? No-."

"Have you ever _wanted_ to kill someone?" Shin'ichi asked, looking Kid dead in the eyes and punctuating his question with another shake.

"No! Of course not-."

"Have you ever intentionally hurt someone?"

"No!"

"Have you ever stolen something that you didn't have a good reason for stealing?"

Kaito opened his mouth, then paused abruptly to think. "Well… it's arguable whether Old Man Suzuki's challenges are 'a good reason' or not… And there was that one time I stole a piece of cake…."

Shin'ichi laughed a beautiful, genuine laugh that made Kaito’s heart melt. The detective finally let go of Kid's arms and reached down to hold both of his hands. "Congratulations, you passed the test. I officially deem you 'A Good Person'."

"That's very kind of you, Meitantei," he said, his voice delicate and laden with love. A smile began to creep over his lips, then he caught himself.

_No, no, no!! This is exactly what I came here to stop!! I can't let myself get swept up by him!_

"I'm sorry," He said, taking a step back and pulling his hands away from the detective. "We can't…"

Shin'ichi's tender expression was replaced with concern and an underlying hint of heartbreak. "What? Why?" He leaned close, watching the thief's expression carefully.

"It's dangerous. There are other criminals- including a whole organization- trying to either kill me or use me. If they find out, they'll go after you too."

Shin'ichi pursed his lips together and narrowed his eyes in annoyance. "That's very sweet of you, but in case you've forgotten, I've already dealt with one criminal organization before-."

"And you shouldn't have to do it again!" Kid said, grabbing the detective's arm. Shin'ichi was taken aback, but quickly retaliated.

"I _want_ to!" He insisted, grabbing Kid's shoulders and digging his fingernails into the white fabric of the thief's coat. "I love you! That means I want to be a part of your life, _including_ the dangerous parts! I understand that you want to keep me safe! But _I_ want to keep _you_ safe!!"

Kid grit his teeth. "You don't even know me!" He snapped, smacking Shin'ichi's hands off his shoulders. Immediately, guilt stabbed through his chest. "At least… not the real me. The person you love doesn't exist…" 

"The person I love?" Shin’ichi echoed, "If you think for one second I'm in love with Kaitou Kid, you're dead wrong! Kaitou Kid is a caricature in a gaudy suit!!"

Kaito flinched half a step back. Far more surprised than hurt. "Gaudy?" He murmured under his breath.

"I'm in love with the person who wanted to steal a faberge egg just to give it back to the proper owner! I'm in love with the person who makes bad jokes then teases me for not having a sense of humor! I'm in love with the person who's more concerned about doing the right thing than their own reputation! The person who's saved my life more times than I remember! The person who likes to show off and is secretly a pervert! I'm in love… with whoever you are, beneath all of this showmanship," Shin'ichi said, stepping back in to Kid's personal space and ever-so-gently lifting his hand to the thief's face, brushing his thumb over his cheek.

Kaito leaned his face into the warm palm, feeling a calm sense of peace and comfort flood his entire body.

"Even though I don't know much about you… I like to think I know what matters," Shin'ichi said, his voice soft and warm. "So… if you still want to run away after all of that, I'll respect your choice." He took his hand away from Kid's face and stepped back.

The thief caught his hand as he was lowering it, and held it in both of his. Shin'ichi had refuted every single argument he had. He really was no match for his beloved detective.

"Do you really think we can make it work?" Kid whispered.

"Of course, I do. I wouldn't be trying so hard to get you if I didn't," Shin'ichi replied, a charming smile gracing his lips.

"I love you, Meitantei," Kid murmured, lifting the detective's hand to his lips and pressing a chaste kiss to his knuckles.

"I love you too. Actually… love doesn't even begin to cover it," Shin'ichi said, "I absolutely adore you, everything about you-."

"Even my gaudy suit?"

The detective laughed, that same, beautiful, genuine laugh from earlier. A sound that filled Kid's heart with so much warm, gooey affection, he almost felt it might burst.

"Yes," Shin'ichi smiled, gazing into the thief's eyes with a tenderness that made Kid question why he had ever distrusted him in the first place. "Everything."

Kaito let go of the detective's hand, and slowly removed his hat and monocle, letting both items fall gently on the floor.

"Well, Meitantei, looks like you managed to catch me after all," he said, pulling Shin'ichi close and pressing a congratulatory kiss onto his lips.

"Does this mean you're not running from me anymore?"

"Correct. I hope you realize you'll never get rid of me now," Kaito teased, pressing several short kisses to Shin'ichi's cheek.

The detective failed to stifle the giggles that rose from his chest. He grabbed the lapel of Kid's coat with one hand and placed the other on the thief's cheek, then crushed his lips against his lover's.

Kaito smiled into the kiss, and eagerly returned the sentiment with double the passion.

They stayed up for several more hours, talking, laughing, and cuddling, and eventually fell asleep together in Shin'ichi's bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve seen a lot of KidShin fics where Kid is nervous about trusting Shin’ichi. So this was my take on the scenario. I hope you liked it!
> 
> Also, I know I’m not the best with maintaining a ‘flow’ in my writing. I’m trying to get better, so any advice/constructive criticism/feedback is always welcome!


End file.
